Okay I was going to post this when I posted the video, but I couldn’t wait because I’ve listened to this over like 50 times as I’ve been editing and I CAN’T CONTAIN MY FEELS ANYMORE.

So. This is my essay on why ‘Are We There Yet’ by Ingrid Michaelson is spot on Dave. And I have givegleeachance to thank for posting this, because I hadn’t heard it prior to last night. <3

No like, this is not for the faint of heart, but if you ship Kurtofsky, you want to read this. If you love Dave, you want to read this. Because these lyrics tell the most tragic but most beautiful story of David Karofsky.

Okay, lyrics are quoted and italicized; so here’s the play-by-play (with an EXTREME effort to keep the keyboard smashing and flailing emotions away):

Are We There Yet by Ingrid Michaelson (in case you want to listen along as you read)

They say that home is where the heart is
I guess I haven’t found my home

 Alright, so we’re starting with the bully, Dave Karofsky. Think season 1. Ruthless, rude, bully. These lines are basically saying that the speaker (who will be Dave from here out) feels like he doesn’t really belong anywhere. He doesn’t feel like he has a home because he hasn’t found his heart yet. He hasn’t been able to truly identify his feelings and identify what his heart wants, or even become acquainted with his own heart to a very great extent. He feels like a misfit, out of place wherever he is, because he’s trying to find a home in his own heart. He doesn’t know how to cope with anything in his life, so he takes it out on others. Remember this - it’s an important theme throughout the song - Dave’s heart is the key to finding his home.

And we keep driving round in circles
Afraid to call this place our own

 This correlates with how Dave feels about his relationship with Kurt. It started off bad, with Dave bullying Kurt. And then it kind of is a rollercoaster after the kiss. The kiss, where Dave is so vulerable and afraid. Then, he’s got his guard up again when he’s confronted by Kurt and Blaine, still to scared to open up to anyone. He goes back to bullying, but harsher. And then Kurt transfers. Dave makes progress in The Sue Sylvester Shuffle, showing that he has potential and doing well in the performances, but after he gets his own slushie facial, he makes it clear that, even after he started getting along so well with Finn and some of the glee members, he wouldn’t associate himself with that - and that he definitely wouldn’t apologize to Kurt and make a scene. So he goes back to big, bad jock. And then Born This Way comes around, and he sees Kurt again. But he’s caught off guard. Kurt isn’t upset with him, he feels bad for him. From here to Prom Queen, we see Dave slowly putting his guard down again, and then his big apology came, and he and Kurt truly had made some serious progress from season 1. He was forgiven, maybe there was a chance with Kurt. But then, he reverts again when they’re elected prom kings, and he can’t. He can’t face the whole school head on. He’s just not ready. Through season 2, Dave and Kurt’s relationship was totally like a cycle; driving in circles. Dave was too afraid of what others thought to establish a friendship with Kurt.

And are we there yet?

They say there’s linings made of silver
Folded inside each raining cloud
Well, we need someone to deliver
Our silver lining now

This is when we start getting into season 3. We didn’t get to see Dave’s transformation and how he got to accepting himself, which is really sad. The are we there yet here is like him wondering if he’ll ever become good enough to be friends with Kurt, or more. But I feel like Dave had done a lot of thinking about Kurt; Kurt really is his role model; his silver lining - he’s everything Dave aspires to be. Kurt was probably a point of inspiration for him. And so, when they met again at Scandals, to keep parallel with the lyrics, it was his silver lining being delivered. Kurt was there again. Kurt, who he had put on a pedestal all while he was coming to terms with accepting himself. His hero, he came and told him it was okay. That he’s proud of Dave. His silver lining.

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

So, Dave gets his silver lining. He’s seen Kurt again, and even though he had suspicions that he might have deeper feelings for him, the meeting affirmed all of his emotions. And so, that agonizing period after he left Scandals that night where he wanted to call Kurt; to see him, to reconnect, all he could think is - are we there yet? I think I’ve found my heart; my home. He spent so long falling in love with Kurt, which built up to Valentine’s day. He decided to make the gesture - to try to find his home.

They say you’re really not somebody
Until somebody else loves you
Well, I am waiting to make somebody
Somebody soon

And this is where he really starts to leave his bad feelings behind. He’s got this fantastic plan for Kurt for Valentine’s day and he really feels like he’s got a shot at this. The lyrics say you aren’t someone until someone loves you. That’s huge for him. Dave know’s Kurt is a “somebody,” he knows how great Kurt is and all he can and has achieved. But there’s more - he wants to make Kurt a “somebody” - he wants to love Kurt. He wants to give Kurt (what he feels like could be) the missing puzzle piece. He wants to give Kurt a piece of himself by loving him, and that would make Kurt a “somebody” all for Dave. That somebody, Dave’s somebody. And he waited so so long, but he’s ready. He’s ready to tell Kurt that he might love him.

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
Home, home, home
Home, home, home

So we’re back to the chorus. This is a new “are we there yet” for Dave. He’s ready to jump - no - to dive in with Kurt. He’s putting his heart on the line. His home is on the line. And he wants so desperately for Kurt to make his heart a home for both of them. But will he? Will he get there? Is he there yet?

Where you will lie on the rug
While I play with the dog
And it won’t be too much

And he’s built up this fantasy - a fantasy of he and Kurt together in the future. It’s kind of like, “Oh, this will be nothing. You’ll just lie there next to me and I’ll be playing with our dog and it will be nothing because we have done this everyday for so long.” Maybe he even thought about if they had kids. But it wasn’t too much. It was perfect; a perfect fantasy…

‘Cause this is too much
‘Cause this is too much for me to hold
This is too much for me to hold

And then Kurt declines him. Kurt brings him back to reality. “I’m with Blaine.” His heart and his spirit are absolutely broken, which would be too much for anyone. But then Nick sees him, and he’s sure nothing could be worse. But of course, it gets worse. Fag painted on his locker. Cyberbullying. All of the comments to go back in the closet. He’s absolutely humiliated. His worst fears have literally come true, and if that wasn’t enough, he was trying to mend a broken heart all at the same time. Too much to hold, he can’t take it any more.

Home, home, home
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?

Are we there yet? Will he ever find a home? No, he thinks, it’s hopeless. I won’t get there. But wait… maybe there is hope. If I call him.. maybe. But he calls. And he calls. And he calls. Kurt doesn’t answer. Kurt doesn’t want him to have a home. Kurt doesn’t want his heart. And he feels utterly alone. His school’s against him, and even Kurt - his beacon, his silver lining - has abandoned him. And that’s when he decides. He lays his clothes out. He tries taking his own life. 

Home, home, home
Home, home, home, home

And then his dad finds him. He’s put in the hospital, the Glee club visits him. People care about him. His heart isn’t alone, there’s others there willing to protect it. But the most important person who comes to him is Kurt. Kurt - the symbol of all Dave wants in a home. He comes back to him. Kurt is happy he’s alive. Kurt wants to help him. Kurt helps him see into his future - 10 years from now. He’s happy, and it’s because of Kurt. Kurt wants to be his friend - he wasn’t abandoned by his home. His home is right there with him, clutching his hand. He’s finally found it.

And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there yet?
And are we there?

Dave baby, you’re there. You’re there with Kurt. He’s there with you, and he’s in it for the long haul.

Baby, you’re finally home.

——

If you read this, I love you so muuuuuch. <3

and I now retreat to my video making world