I have learned so much in the last year, and I don’t regret any of the decisions I have made. I’ve come to learn a lot about the people in my life, and not all of that knowledge led to good outcomes. Still, I think that honesty is the best policy, and knowing the truth is ultimately the best think to know.
No, that’s not what bothers me. I’ve come to terms with the shit I’ve dealt with, and I’m fine with that. What bothers me is that I cannot just swallow my pride and admit what I’m feeling. I would love to just confront the issue and say:
You know, I don’t think I was wrong. But I think I’m wrong now for holding such an idiotic grudge.What seemed like such a big issue really holds no flame to all the good times we shared, and the relationship we had formed.
Yeah, and I m i s s y o u , and wish we could go back to being partners in crime with twin telepathy and the greatest inside jokes; back to when we stayed up all night and laughed at nothing; back to when we shared a family and lived at each others houses every other weekend. Because I’ll never have that with anyone else, and I realize that. No, I wasn’t wrong, but it doesn’t mean I’m right now.
But see, there’s that P-word that gets in the way. And no matter how I feel about anything, it won’t matter. Because when it comes down to the wire, I’m too damn stubborn to admit anything as real as that. And even if I did pluck up the balls to actually own up to my feelings, I’m pretty sure it’s too late anyway. And I would feel like I lost at some RETARDED game.
So, boys and
girls, the moral of the story is: Don’t be an asshole like I am. Stay true to yourself, and true to those that really matter in your life.
Because all that up there, that’s the hardest truth I’ve had to realize. Don’t lie to yourself.
It’ll be the closest thing to regret I’ll ever feel.
“It’s like the kind of Thanksgiving where you tell your family you’re a communist and a lesbian at the same time. There will be yelling, tears, and feelings hurt.”—Mrs. J, referring to 3rd hour English class.
Okay, to all my fellow Minnesotans: WE GET IT. There was a big ass clusterfuck storm this weekend. We all kinda went through it too, ya know?
Mind you, this was no normal clusterfuck storm. It was the worst in 19 years. SO, I forgive you for bringing it up EVERY 5 SECONDS… I guess.
Anyway, do to this change in a little thing we call weather, I thought I would give you all an update; a little newsflash if you will, because I can see the confusion that all of this snow is causing you.
Here it is: Rachel’s Winter Survival Guide… For Dummies.
Snow: There’s a lot of it. There’s this thing called a shovel, or in some nicer cases, a snowblower. Become familiarized with this artifact, as it will be a significant aid to you and your vehicle in this thing called Winter. (It’s a season. You can Google it for more details).
Cold: It comes with the territory. I trust you are aware of the state you live in, and therefore are aware of the consequences of the winter weather. However, just in case you’ve forgotten, it’s fucking frigid. Wear a coat, hat, & some mittens, and you should be fine and dandy for that 1 minute walk from your vehicle to your work/school facility.
Patience: YOU WILL NEED IT. We have like 5 months of winter here in the great state of Minnesota, folks. Make the best of it!
And that’s all she wrote. (Because she is to lazy to come up with any more clever/asshole-ish things to say)
I LOVE YOU, MINNESOTA. Stay positive! We will survive Invierno 2010/2011.
On a completely random note, Siddhartha is really effing boring.